Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Smart Business Growth podcast YouTube channel.
I don't even know if you can see my face right now, and you might notice — if you're watching the YouTube channel — I'm not in my usual office. I'm in Melbourne, and you can see the view behind me. I can't tell with the lighting, but I thought, you know what? I'm not going to let that stop me from jumping in and having a quick conversation with you about this concept of time — this concept of living our one wild and precious life.
I saw Mel Robbins last night, and I love how she talked about her point of view and perspective on time and how we can make the most of this life. Because if you've watched my TEDx talk — and if you haven't, or if you want to watch it again, I'll pop the link in the show notes or somewhere in the YouTube channel — I talk about this fact that we have four thousand weeks on this earth, if we are lucky, if we are fortunate enough to live to 80. I first read about this in Oliver Berkman's book called 4,000 Weeks — it's amazing, great book.
But what I realised listening to Mel — and I'm going to share a bit of her perspective around this as well — is that whilst it's amazing to remember that we have a limited amount of time on this earth, and that we, in the words of Mary Oliver, want to make sure we do fully experience and live this one wild and precious life… what that can actually do is create a sense of urgency. It can create a sense of pressure. It can create a sense of panic. And sometimes it's too much, and we feel like perhaps it's too late. There's just too much overwhelm around what to do — whether it's too late because of age, because of phase of business, because of career, because that's what we've been doing for however long.
What I loved about what Mel Robbins talked about with time is she put this big screen up — and I'll get Jules to show the photo I took on the YouTube channel, so if you want visuals, make sure you go check that out. She put this screen up and showed us how many weeks we actually have left. It's the same information presented in a different way, but the narrative went a little bit different than I expected, because her message is: look at how much time we have left. And there's this positive assumption around — you do have that time left — which is kind of cool.
So it got me really thinking. I'm in Melbourne, I'm watching the hot air balloons go across the city — it was very magical this morning — and I thought, actually, what we need to do is bring both of those mindsets together.
Thinking about, "oh my gosh" — that butt-clench moment that we only have X amount of time left — is really important, because what that does is it taps into our pain motivator, our moving-away-from-pain motivator, which is really great in terms of taking action and getting our bums off the seat.
Think about the moving-away-from-pain motivator — it's like after Christmas or Easter when we've eaten so much food. It's like, right, I feel really gross, I'm going to go to the gym because I need to feel healthy again. Or, I'm in that job that I hate, and I just had a really bad conversation with my boss — the pain is big enough. We're not consciously using those words, but that's what drives us to look for another job.
So the pain motivator is like rocket fuel. It gets us going, but it only takes us so far. And I think that's where, if we're only focusing on that — you know, live every day like it's your last — if we're actually living every day as though it's our last, there's a lot of pressure attached to that. Great for a motivator, but what's going to sustain that?
And that's where the pleasure motivator comes into play. The pleasure motivator is that we are actually moving towards something that we want, something that we like. We get off the couch and go to the gym because we feel like crap, but we keep doing it because we start to feel good. We've got a goal — maybe those swimmers we want to wear, or an event where we just want to feel kick-ass. The pleasure of that outcome keeps the momentum going.
We can't rely on motivation, because motivation is fickle. Some days we have it, some days we don't — it's inconsistent. But we can look at how to strategically use both the pain motivator and the pleasure motivator to keep us going.
And it's the same thing with this. Yes, we only have 4,000 weeks on this earth if we're lucky enough to live to 80. Yes, we want to bring this sense of appreciation — that's why we say, let's live our day as though it's the last. But if we only focus on that, it's exhausting, it creates pressure, it creates panic. So we need to flip over to this other perspective as well — the one Mel talks about — which is going to provide continual sustenance and momentum. And it's actually looking at: I have all this time left to do it. It's never too late, whether we are 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, or 70. We're so fortunate to live in a world where 90 and 100 is accessible for a lot of people, if we start to take care of ourselves.
The image up on the YouTube channel — Mel talked about challenges she was going through, and the reality was there was a two-year period — and those are just photos from the event, so massive props and shout out to Mel Robbins. Two years, really painful. But what it felt like was forever. It felt like it would be for eternity. And I think that's such an important thing to remember — when we're going through the tough times, when we're going through adversity, it might feel like it will be for the rest of our lives, but in fact, we have so much of our life yet to live.
And when we can have that perspective — coming back to the pleasure motivator — what I see that being is finding a way to live in awe, or to find moments of awe.
Now, the definition of awe — I looked it up — is an overwhelming emotion, in a positive way, of admiration, wonder, being inspired by something vast or majestic or powerful, such as nature or a profound accomplishment. Technology, music, live music, nature — I love going to the planetarium because it gets me to that sense of awe and wonder. This morning, watching over the city, I wasn't expecting it — I saw the hot air balloons coming across, and that got me to a place of awe.
It could be stopping and looking at a tree on your daily walk. It could be watching a baby sleep, or looking at a loved one. There are moments of awe that are within our grasp, within our reach, in everyday moments.
Instead of putting pressure on ourselves to live every day like it is our last — yes, we need that perspective to tap into sometimes — but what's the purpose behind that? I think it's to be present and enjoy life in whatever we're doing. To look at: can I find those moments of presence, of awe?
And I talk about time freedom, which is ultimately the choice of how and where we live our life. For everybody watching and listening, I'm going to make a pretty accurate assumption that we are privileged. We have the opportunity to make a lot of choices that a lot of people in the world don't have. So let's not be remiss with that. Let's take that as an opportunity to lean into gratitude and do something with it — whether it's that risky move you were thinking about in your business, the thing you want to roll out with your team, or personally the challenges or the things to get out of your comfort zone.
What can you do today to make sure that you are finding those moments of appreciation? Because when we are in that place of identifying the magnificence around us, we are able to realise both our own significance, and just how amazing this world actually is.
And more than ever today, we need to find those moments — because it's very easy to get pulled away from that, whether it's the news or what's happening globally. I truly believe — and this is something that really came out of COVID — that one of the best ways we can heal the world is through healing ourselves. By bringing in joy, presence, and mindfulness, we are able to impact ourselves, and therefore the people around us. And that has a ripple effect.
Key Takeaways:
So, some really key things out of today:
- Yes, we've got to lean into that pain motivator — live every day like it's the last — but we have to balance it with: we have so much of our life left to live.
- Ask yourself: what's one small decision I can make today that my future self will thank me for?
- A couple of questions Mel Robbins posed: if nothing changes, where will I be in five years' time? Take a moment to reflect or journal on that.
- And here's a tip I really loved — if we think too much about how we feel about something, it can actually keep us stuck. You know those mornings you just don't want to get out of bed? The more you think about it, the harder it is to get up. That's a micro example of how, if we macro it out, it plays out in so many parts of our lives. If we think too much about how nervous we are, how scary something is, how far out of our comfort zone it is — even with tough conversations — the more we get stuck.
So another message I want to give you today is: stop thinking so much. Myself included. Catch yourself in the moment, stop thinking about it, and just take some action.
Remember that balance — tap into the pain motivator, but also tap into the pleasure motivator to move you towards living your life fully.
My friends, I've given you a few things to think about here — some really big, beautiful messaging. I hope you're hearing it and thinking about how you can apply it in your world. Done is better than perfect.
I'm about to go and explore Melbourne, hang out with some friends — it's a Sunday — and I just had to jump in and record this message for you, because it will be as profound as you want it to be, as you choose it to be.
The most important thing is: what will you take out of this? What will you implement?
What I'd love for you to do — if you choose to accept this invitation — is to find one thing that leads you into awe. It doesn't have to be huge. One of my favourite things is putting my hand on a tree, looking up, and just staying there for a minute so you can actually see the beauty. Or lying on the ground and cloud gazing. Find that moment of awe. It's magnificent, and it doesn't have to be big.
If you've got any questions or want to keep the conversation going, please reach out to me. I absolutely love that you've joined me here today, and I can't wait to see you on the next one. Bye!
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