Smart Business Growth with Nicky & Ness

Money, Sales, and Success: The Role of Beliefs in Business

• Nicky & Ness • Season 2 • Episode 27

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In this episode, Nicky and Ness dive deep into how our beliefs influence every aspect of our lives and businesses. They discuss how beliefs around money, sales, and success can either propel us forward or hold us back. With real-life examples and practical insights, they explore the importance of challenging ingrained belief systems to unlock true potential.

Episode Highlights:

  • The power of beliefs and their impact on business and personal success.
  • How subconscious beliefs shape actions and decisions.
  • Sales and money beliefs and their effect on business growth.
  • Changing limiting beliefs to create new opportunities.
  • Practical steps to shift belief systems for long-term success.

Learn more about Nicky and Ness https://businesstogether.com.au

Buy a copy of Healthy Hustle: The New Blueprint to Thrive in Business & Life www.healthyhustle.com.au

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Instagram - @b2businesstogether
Facebook - @B2BusinessTogether

Connect on LinkedIn
Nicky LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/connectwithnicky/
Ness LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessamedling/

Give us a call
Nicky Miklos-Woodley 0403 191 404
Vanessa (Ness) Medling 0400 226 875

Or send us an email hello@businesstogether.com.au

Music by Jules Miklos-Woodley

Nicky:

Welcome to the Smart Business Growth Podcast with Nicky and. Ness.

Ness:

We would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of country, the Turrbal and Bunurong people of Brisbane and Melbourne respectively, where Nicky and I both work and live both work and live.

Nicky:

The beliefs that we have play such a huge part in either helping us move forward in our life, in our business, in the areas that matter to us, or holding us back, hindering our success, keeping us stuck. We talk a lot about beliefs throughout our book. It actually plays a big role in different areas of finding that place of healthy hustle. Because when we can work on our beliefs, when we can work on the thoughts that we have, our thoughts, our beliefs become feelings, become emotions. They impact the perception that we have of the world around us and that, in turn, is what impacts the action that we take. Beliefs that we have will impact so many areas. I've done so many workshops over the past around sales beliefs. Actually, anytime I do work with a new client, we have to start with, we must start with uncovering the beliefs that the business owner, leaders, teams have around sales. What does sales mean to us? Ness, you've done a lot of work and continue to do a lot of work around money beliefs.

Ness:

Absolutely. We just got so much to jump in and say Money beliefs, definitely, especially around business and in life, the differences between people can come down to this belief system. You know, some people believe that there's not enough money, some people believe that there is enough money. Some people believe, like you said, with sales, sales is evil, necessary evil kind of thing, sales is hard, all of that kind of stuff. It's just, I think people underestimate how many beliefs we hold about such a range of different things that impact the behaviors. No, actually start with thoughts, behaviors and actions that we take all based on this thing. That happens in a split second, subconsciously, where we have no thought process necessarily around questioning it.

Nicky:

Totally, because it's happening automatically, isn't it? That subconscious belief system is kicking off and we don't even know about it? And sometimes we can look at why do I keep doing this repeat pattern you hear often with relationships? Why do I keep attracting this type of person? Why do I keep doing this to myself? Well, chances are we need to look under the hood and really explore what beliefs are driving certain behaviors. So we've talked about it impacts sales beliefs. It impacts money beliefs that we have as we go into the world and earn more money, like the beliefs that were embedded in us from when we were children, from when we were younger. Even our beliefs around what success looks like. You know, what does hustle look like? What does success look like? Our definition of hard work? What does hustle look like? What does success look like? Our definition of hard work, our belief around what kind of leader we can be and what makes a great leader.

Nicky:

We've had incredible conversations with leaders. There's one person in particular that comes to mind who we interviewed for our book, james H, and when I first met him years ago, his belief was that vulnerability is a weakness as a leader. Do not be vulnerable, it is a weakness. Now, after working together, he realized actually that's not true. In fact, vulnerability can be a strength. Being human and being real and authentic can be a strength. And I love it, because he just recently completed the Dare to Lead, brene Brown Leadership Workshop and I was reflecting, thinking how cool is that? That's, I think seven years later or, I don't know, a number of years later, and here he is loving and embracing. If we think about a leader embracing vulnerability and sharing that story, it's got to be Brene Brown right yeah of course, but that belief initially was holding him back being a great leader and when he could face that.

Nicky:

it was uncomfortable at first but he was able to move through that. So experiences we've had with other leaders, experiences as a business owner, things we've seen things, we've observed things, we've been a part of things we've been told. You know, our beliefs have been created since day dot, since, some would argue, even before we came into this world, but that's a whole other type of podcast. But these beliefs we've created particularly in our transformative years, in zero to seven, and then they continue to be built upon and embedded in the world that we live in, from our parents, our caretakers, the people around us, school and we progress, high school, uni or not, uni, 20s, et cetera, et cetera.

Nicky:

So, realistically, our beliefs are created from our experiences, from events that have happened that we've been a part of. That also creates our values and we're constantly seeking out evidence for our beliefs to be true Because, you know, really all of this comes down to perspective. I was talking to Jules. I was very profound this morning on my walk with Jules, saying really everything is just perspective and it's kind of all BS, but it's all our reality, like at the end of the day. So, ness, can you take us through when I say we're constantly searching, not even realizing, subconsciously searching for evidence for our beliefs to be true, whether they serve us or not, whether they help or hinder us. What do we mean by that?

Ness:

It's a really great question because I think the answer itself helps to understand why some people are so steadfast in their beliefs and will not change at all, and why others can change. So there is this part of our brain called the Recticular Activating System we like to call it the RAS for short and what that does is it goes out. That's the information seeker, that's the truth finder, truth to back up our belief system. Not necessarily the truth of black and white truth, right, it's just whatever we make up. We make up a story in our head about what something means, we make that a belief and we look for evidence to back it up. Because at any point you know, you think about, as we're sitting here recording this podcast, and wherever you are listening or watching it, there will be millions I think it's 11 million bits of information that come at us at any given time. So I'm sitting in an office where there's trees outside and there's sunshine and there's a bit of wind going on, and then the dog somewhere and you know, and we're having a conversation. So there's so many different things that if we, if our brains, took it all in, they'd probably explode. I don't know whether that's scientifically correct, but so you know, we just can't. So we chunk it down to find the the maybe about. What is it? Seven bits give or take, two, seven chunks of information, and part of that filter is our RAS looking for what we're seeking. So the best way I can remember this is I, when I bought a red Hyundai which wasn't the current car but the car before that and I used to drive around the country and I'd drive to Melbourne and before I bought my red Hyundai and never noticed another one. And then when I bought it, I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. And all of a sudden here are all these red Hyundais. When I was pregnant many years ago with my kids, suddenly pregnant women are everywhere around you because you're looking, that's not necessarily a belief, but that's what your mind is focused on, and so that helps you to seek more evidence of that.

Ness:

So when we talk about it in the context of beliefs, if we have a belief about you know you've got to work hard in order to make money we will seek evidence that that is the case. We will find examples of that in others and in ourselves, that we have to actually work hard to make money and I think about you know you talk about having beliefs set up from a childhood and from your parents, and there are stories around parents who you know, dads who are never around I'm going to generalize here, but I'm thinking of I can't think of exactly who told me the story because I feel like I've heard it so many times but you know their role model could have been James, actually James B in the book. We did have two Jameses in the book, which makes it slightly confusing as to who we're talking about. But James B, I'm sure he said you know his dad was never home. So his belief about success in business is that you've got to work really hard and long hours and not be there around your family, and so that, of course, was the business he created at the beginning until he had the realization this wasn't working for him. And we don't often stop to challenge the belief that we have grown up with. And I think when we get to, you know, sort of older in life, we find it harder sometimes to shift a belief because we've built so much evidence around that belief over the years. I like to think of it as like there's a when I was a kid, so this is probably only going to relate to people around the 40s or 50s and beyond.

Ness:

But we used to have that crappy old camp table and, like, you'd have to lock each of the corners in place, each of the legs in place, and inevitably one of them would be dodgy and everything would fall off the table. You and like you'd have to lock each of the corners in place, each of the legs in place, and inevitably one of them would be dodgy and everything would fall off the table. You know, as you're making dinner. So I think the tabletop is our belief and then all the evidence we seek are the legs underneath. So when we lock those legs in place, we get a really sturdy tabletop, and that sturdy tabletop is the belief that's really embedded in us.

Ness:

That is going to be very hard to change, and I think about all of the topics that we perhaps leave behind in a polite conversation, like politics and religion and those kinds of things. Their tabletops are sturdy, those legs are in place and then it kind of moves on. So there could be some beliefs that you have, but there's a bit of a wobble and this is about that RAS going and looking for a replacement belief because you want to wobble that really hard, strong tabletop right In order to change it. But it takes time because you've got to start looking for and setting your RAS out into the universe and the world to say find me more that backs up the evidence that you don't actually have to work hard in order to be successful. And I think once we start to challenge the belief, we can start to then build an evidence bank to put those old legs of the table, to weaken them so that belief tumbles and then strengthen the new one. Does that make sense?

Nicky:

Yeah, absolutely, and I think I like that. I can absolutely see that old. It's like the card tables, that table, it's a really good visual. And is it wobbly or is it strong? Because that also brings up another point. Well, two really big points I think worth mentioning here is that you can change your beliefs, but depending on how ingrained, how strong those table legs are will depend on actually how much work it will take, how much effort, how much time, but you can change it.

Nicky:

So sometimes your camping table, your belief around success or what hustle culture is, or any of those things, or busy, as a badge of honor, maybe it's not solid, maybe it's already wobbling, and so therefore, you're subconsciously ready to replace that belief, which is the second point is that, yes, you can change your beliefs. It's the awareness of sometimes longer, harder, sometimes easier, quick. We can't assume We've just got to give it a crack. And the second thing is you've got to replace it. So you can't just get rid of a belief Like that table. We can't just take one leg out and then there's all the toppings and delicious food which is like the life that we're living isn't going to sit on there from that belief because it's toppled over. We've got to replace that leg with something that's more resourceful, something that is more helpful, something that serves, and I even think that.

Nicky:

So we've got our deeply ingrained beliefs that really don't serve us, like even if I think about my definition of success over the years has had to change because it wasn't serving, but also sometimes it might be a shorter term belief that did serve us for a while, but we're actually like, actually it's time to change. Now I'm a different person, I'm growing, I'm getting older, so I'm choosing to let that go to bring in a new belief. So it could be really long-term, deeply ingrained beliefs, like James and his dad, or it could actually just be phases and cycles of life or business or leadership. There's so many different ways to look at this and I don't want anyone to feel overwhelmed because the thing is we just want to start small, always 1% increment. So I wonder, ness, what could be? Well, actually I know this answer because we talked about it.

Ness:

What are we going to do? What?

Nicky:

are we going to take our beautiful community through to help get a bit of a reality check? Because if you get a reality check, it can highlight for you what beliefs need to change in context of let's go with this down the rabbit hole of being so busy, never having enough time to get the things that we want done. Let's go through it. What are we going to talk?

Ness:

about to help get a reality check, absolutely so. This is an exercise that we've done with so many of our clients. It's in the book and it is an eye opener, to say the least, and it's so simple. So I want to set up this thought that you mentioned it earlier.

Ness:

So many people wear busy like a badge of honor, like it's the excuse that you get around being able to forget things. I'm sorry, I didn't ring you, I was so busy. I didn't get to the gym, I was so busy. We throw busy around so much and sometimes it's a really good way of letting ourselves off the hook from actually making the choice about where we spend our time. And I remember when, years ago, I had a sort of like a mentor in my life, a woman that I used to work for and this whole thing around.

Ness:

But I'm so busy I can't get to do that, and it's like, well, no, actually you're choosing this over that. And it's not about being busy, it's a choice. And that always hurts the first time you hear it, because, especially when the choice is to work over picking up my kids from childcare or is to prioritize something that's not meaningful and important to me, like doing a report for work back in the day instead of going to the gym. So these are the whole thing around. Your beliefs get sucked into everywhere around being busy, and what we want to challenge you with is this tool we take people through called 168 hours. Because, Nicky, why does the 168 hours title go onto this tool?

Nicky:

Wellness. Great question we all have 168 hours in a week to play with. It's crazy, isn't it? I've double checked that number so many times, by the way, because I'm like, is it actually 168 hours?

Nicky:

Yes, it is. Yes, it is If we divide that by seven. Yeah, so we I think that's the first reality check we all have the same amount of time We've got 168 hours and what we're choosing to do with it, and I think that's such an important point you make around own it. I'm choosing to work over picking up the kids. I'm choosing, like I remember, around 2016,.

Nicky:

It was a pivotal moment and I was really sick and I said to my manager I'm going to have to go home, I'm really sick, and we had this really important meeting that we'd set up. We had external people coming in, all the jazz and she said is there any chance you can just stay today and then take all the time you need? And I said yes, and I got pneumonia after that and I know that it was because I pushed too hard. I stayed longer, I kept working. Now, that was 100% on me. I chose that and there was a health detriment to me, but there was a period of time where it was really easy to kind of blame everybody around me and that's BS. It wasn't a great choice, but it was still a choice. And that reality check of just own it because sometimes the second choice sucks.

Nicky:

Yeah, yeah, absolutely but back to the 168 time order Back to 168.

Ness:

So this is where I tend to listen to podcasts as I walk. So if you are walking or driving, you might want to come back to this later or just do it mentally in your head, because what we're wanting you to do is to. Maybe you need a calculator for this, because I can never add up all those hours in my brain. So, but basically, it's just a sheet of paper with two columns and one of those. Oh, are we going into it?

Nicky:

If you're walking, just find a park bench and pull out your notes on your phone. There you go.

Ness:

This is an excuse for you to stop and sit down, stop being busy, yeah, yeah, take the time because, believe me, it's going to be quite an eye-opener and it will change things for you around how you see your belief system. So, on the left hand side, we want to write down what we call big rocks. So big rocks are those things that take up our time, that are important but also time-consuming. How else would you describe that, Nicky?

Nicky:

Yeah, so big rocks can be regular things that are happening for you, and we'll go through a bit of a list of what they are. But big rocks are important. They're the things that need to happen, and it's not just in the work environment, in the life environment. It might be important to your family, your kids, your partner, but you're a part of it still, so it's taking your time. Big rocks are big chunks of time that you have to have in your calendar each and every week.

Ness:

Okay. So it's things like if you're working meetings, it'd be the travel time that you have between where you live and where you go to work, or if you are going out to meetings or going to functions, it'd be the actual delivery of the work that you do during your working day All the admin tasks and, my goodness, there can be a lot of those in behind the scenes of getting the actual work done.

Nicky:

So ballpark numbers, guys, don't get caught in detail, just ballpark numbers, oh, we haven't got to hours yet.

Ness:

I reckon we should jump down to big rocks first let's write the list.

Ness:

Okay, okay, okay, good, good, good, you're so excited to get there, but you know that's a spoiler alert around where we're going. So we're going to do things like what about sleeping? We all actually need sleep, so that's another big chunk. If we have hobbies that we might do exercise, if you're walking or going to the gym time with people like your family, remember them, the ones around the dinner table, any other responsibilities you may have at home, so maybe you know doing the cooking or the cleaning, have you got children? Maybe it's around taking them to their sports and you know whatever school events no-transcript, although what I hear often from people who are super busy is that's the thing that goes last. Any other kind of form of self-care, and I guess the one that comes up for me that I'm really mindful of, because I've got a report that comes up on my phone every Monday telling me how long I've spent on my phone. So social media checking yeah, going through Instagram, tiktok, facebook, whatever is your social media of choice.

Nicky:

And there's one more to add there yes, lunch breaks or breaks within the working day. Make sure that's in there. And even don't like, just put them all on the list. Everything that Ness has said. Don't be concerned now if you do or don't spend time on that.

Ness:

Just put it on the list, yeah yeah, and also, that is not, you know, the only things that will be on that list. You'll think of other things in there as well. You might have caring responsibilities for elderly parents or, you know, is there something else that you have commitments for? So we're kind of looking on average for a week. What's your average week look like? Yeah, Then do you want to talk about the next bit, Nick?

Nicky:

Oh, absolutely, because you know this is where the data matters. So you've got your list, whether it's in your notes on your phone, or you've got your pen and paper out and you've written down your big rocks. What you're going to write next to each big rock is the ballpark number Don't get caught down in the detail here the ballpark number of how many hours a week you're spending on that big rock. So really think about your Monday to Sunday, think about your weekends, think about where you're spending your time, and this is without judgment. So just really pragmatic. You're just simply looking at here's the big rock ballpark. How many hours per week am I spending on each of these areas? And then you're going to tally up.

Nicky:

So you might want to pause for a second. While you do that, pause the potty yet. Well, actually, just pause, okay, and welcome back. So I hope you played along there. So now what I'd love you to do is tally up. So add up all the big rock number of hours and have a look at how that compares to 168. Did your number increase? Are your actual big rocks adding up to more than 168 hours? Is it considerably lower than 168 hours? Is it bang on? I mean, the thing is, if you're familiar with the terminology of big rocks by Stephen Covey. There's this very cool video from the late 80s. Go check it out.

Nicky:

But, the idea is that when you can schedule your big rocks and you prioritize them first and then all the other little things because that's not everything you have in your time there's so many little things that are unexpected, that come in to your day and your week but it's easier to fit the little things in around the big rocks when you focus on the little things. If you sweat the small stuff, it's much harder to then prioritize those big rocks. So this is really a reality check on how much time are your big rocks taking, and I really wanted to make sure that you still have me time self-care on that list, because if your number was zero, that's feedback for you.

Ness:

That's why it's important to have that one in there to see the reality of whether it's zero or not.

Nicky:

Yeah, Because there's two reality checks here. Isn't there Ness, like one is? You're actually over 168 hours.

Ness:

Yeah, that happened with one of our clients. I remember she no wonder she was feeling just stretched to the limits and burnt out, because the reality was, you know, once she added in all the responsibilities as a parent and all that kind of thing on top of her workload, it was like something's got to give. And I can tell you she had zero in self-care as well.

Nicky:

And that's where the statistics. We've seen some really scary statistics. When we researched for the book around, I think it was a 70 to 94% or 70 to 90% of doctor's visits are stress-related. So don't quote me exactly on that, but it is in the book. But like it just goes to show right the burnout stats that are on the rise. All of this because that is what's going to give.

Nicky:

And the reality check is you only have 168 hours in a week, friends. If your number is over 168, you have got to do something because you cannot sustain that. The other reality check is that oftentimes people will go whoa, I actually thought that I would be over at 168, but I'm below it. And you know, like that social media, that Netflix, what actually are you spending your time on? Because the reality check here is you're prioritizing what you spend your time on. So maybe it is that you're doom scrolling or you're whatever it might be, you know. But I just I really want to highlight this isn't about getting being hard on yourself, because if you are spending your time unresourcefully somewhere, it's usually for a reason. It's not that you're lazy, that's right.

Ness:

That's right. And if you are a data nerd like me, you can find there's an app that I use called Lifecycle, and I've actually been using it for a few years now and that can map out sort of the big chunks like sleep and work and you know all the other things that you want to program into that around where you are spending your time. And I like doing that because at the end of the week I can sort of do this comparison week on, week around, just keeping an eye on you know, did I drop sleep for something else? Did I increase my hours of work, and you know that kind of. All of that is captured in data. So if you're a data geek, sometimes apps can help keep you on track, although they don't obviously keep a record of how long you're on you know your mobile phone or whatever, but chunks of time around where you are, it's really fascinating to sort of look at that and look at the pattern over a period of time.

Nicky:

I mean there's even reports and things or updates on our phones. Like how much time do we spend on our phone week, on week, to kind of answer around that? And again I really want to press home. This is really, look at this pragmatically like actually, where am I spending my time and how could I do things differently? Because if you're finding that you are falling into some unresourceful beliefs, patterns and behaviors, it could be because you're pushing so much through the week that you're just exhausted, right. So it's kind of like this data shows the symptoms but not the cause. So when you know the symptoms and you know what reality check you need to have, then you can step back and look at those weeks that you've had around. Well, what is causing this? What's causing me to spend my time in these places?

Ness:

That's right. So, for example, if you don't have any time set aside for self-care or something to reconnect to self, you'd be questioning the belief around why you think that something else matters more. Why is that more important? And there could be seasons in life, like being a new mum or something like that, where you are in a different phase and that can be not a belief but a fact. But really I mean ideally what you're looking at is this is giving you some data to be able to question why these results, and if you are feeling trapped in the busy cycle, it's a really good way of getting that proof around where you're spending time so that you can sort of then jump up to well, what's a belief associated with this result?

Nicky:

And then even look at okay, well, I know I'm a new mom or we're in this growth phase of business, so actually there's light at the end of the tunnel, there's positive stress or it's negative stress. You know there's no light at the end of the tunnel. So what can you do to ask for help? What are some of the changes that you can make? I love it, Ness. So, aside from doing the 168 time audit, which is a nice one for playing along, what's an action that people can take in the next 24 hours?

Ness:

I think one action that's going to be really helpful for those who are feeling like there's not enough hours in the day is to find something in your calendar over the next week or two that you can actually say no to and replace it with something that really matters and is important to you. I love that.

Nicky:

Donna McGeorge often talks about the relief when someone cancels a meeting. Actually you know how good is it? Because it's like, oh, I've got that hour back, oh, I've got it.

Ness:

It's kind of like set a meeting.

Nicky:

Actually, I've heard her say this you could even set a meeting up with yourself and then cancel it, so you've got that hour.

Ness:

But that would be an additional task. You know, creating space. We want you to just find something to say no to, to get you back some hours in that 168 precious hours that you have each week. Love it, okay? Well, that wraps us up for another week on this podcast. Thanks for listening. Everyone, have a great week. Thank you so much. Thanks for listening to today's ep. If you loved what you heard, connect with us over on LinkedIn and let's continue the conversation over there. Did you hear? You can now buy our book Healthy Hustle the new blueprint to thrive in business and life, at healthyhustlecomau. Want us to speak to your team or run a workshop on healthy hustle in your workplace? Send us an email or go old school and give us a call to discuss. Until next time, happy listening and here's to thriving in business and life.