Smart Business Growth with Nicky & Ness

The Hidden Power of Positive Stress

• Nicky & Ness • Season 2 • Episode 15

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In this episode, Nicky and Ness delve into the often-overlooked positive aspects of chaos and stress in business. They explore the concept of "beautiful chaos," where stress can be beneficial if managed well, and distinguish between positive and negative stress, offering insights on how to harness stress for business growth.

Episode Highlights

  • The Dual Nature of Stress: Differentiating between positive and negative stress and their impacts on business.
  • Success Formula: Importance of clear direction and goal setting in creating positive stress and momentum.
  • Defeat Formula: How lack of direction leads to destructive chaos and chronic stress.
  • Personal and Business Goals: Integrating personal life goals with business objectives to maintain healthy stress levels.
  • Signs of Negative Stress: Recognising symptoms like increased mistakes, generalisation, and avoidance.
  • Actionable Steps: Reconnect with your business direction and seek help if experiencing chronic stress.

Listen to previous episode - 'Addicted to Success: The Entrepreneur's Dilemma'  https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/smart-business-growth-with-nicky-ness/id1670234776?i=1000660952179

Learn more about Nicky and Ness https://businesstogether.com.au

Buy a copy of Healthy Hustle: The New Blueprint to Thrive in Business & Life www.healthyhustle.com.au

Follow us on socials
Instagram - @b2businesstogether
Facebook - @B2BusinessTogether

Connect on LinkedIn
Nicky LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/connectwithnicky/
Ness LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessamedling/

Give us a call
Nicky Miklos-Woodley 0403 191 404
Vanessa (Ness) Medling 0400 226 875

Or send us an email hello@businesstogether.com.au

Music by Jules Miklos-Woodley

Nicky:

Welcome to the Smart Business Growth Podcast with Nikki and. Ness.

Ness:

We would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of country, the Turrbal and Bunurong people of Brisbane and Melbourne respectively, where Nikki and I both work and live both work and live.

Nicky:

It's a known fact that business can feel chaotic at times, and that's okay. Sometimes we try to avoid the chaos, we try to avoid the stress, but we're here to tell you that there is a side of chaos and stress that actually can be quite positive, can be good for you and good for your business. We're shifting gears a little bit. You probably didn't expect us to say this today, but it's as important a conversation as it is to avoid stress.

Nicky:

We live in this culture and society where rightfully so we're wanting to move away from burnout, we're wanting to move away from exhaustion and we're wanting to move away from stress. But there is positive stress and there is negative stress, and it's the negative stress that leads to chronic stress. So today we want to unpack what is this difference between positive and negative stress, and we can't talk about that if we don't also talk about this place of chaos in business. So, ness, we have got a formula that we've created based on all the observations we've had working with clients for over a decade in our business and, of course, seeing these patterns in our own business as well. Let's start with understanding what is this success formula, and then we'll go into what the defeat formula is. Oh, success and defeat.

Ness:

Which one do you want? Definitely success, and I think there's such a key distinction between the two. So I love what you said. Business can be stressful and I think it is unreasonable for us to think that that wouldn't happen at some point in life. Life gets stressful, right. This is the whole point about knowing you're actually living is having the highs, the lows, everything in between being able to react, sorry, respond rather than react. It makes sense that this carries forward into having some level of stress. However, what we find is beautiful.

Ness:

Chaos, which results in positive stress and therefore creates momentum in the business starts with clear direction, when we know which direction we're going in and what we are striving towards, and then we put everybody's all in right. We're all on the bus and we're all heading there and we all want that end goal. It can be stressful as we get there, but we know the end goal. So this isn't a forever, ever end goal of oh, it's just going to be stressful for the rest of the time we're in business, for the next 10 years. It's. We're going towards this thing and we're very clear on the direction, and the benefit of that means that the things that aren't supporting you to achieve that outcome, fall by the wayside. So you know where your focus goes, so that stress is actually like it's a pointed stress.

Ness:

The flip of that, the defeat formula, is where the destructive chaos comes in, because there is absolutely no clear direction. This is where we feel like we're just chasing ourselves in circles, going around and around reinventing the wheel, reworking every day, having the stress of the pressure, particularly on a business owner. It's all on me. Why can't anyone do it as well as I can? I pay these people what's going on and your team, their frustration around. I have no idea what you want from me, but I'm going to run at the pace you are and do things that make me look busy, and then I'm going to feel burnt out as a result of that. So this can lead to chronic stress, which is where we see people fall into burnout. There's no end in sight, it's just a continued lack of direction. But doing the busy, doing the do and feeling that pressure off it Does that make sense to you?

Nicky:

Yes, definitely. So just to summarize what you've said there, when we are in the zone of success formula, there's clear direction, clarity in the business, in where the business is going, and probably clarity of expectations of each individual's role. That then leads to being able to embrace this beautiful chaos, because the wild side of business happens anyway, it's guaranteed. But because we've got that direction, we can embrace the beautiful chaos. We can also then embrace the positive stress, which is what gives energy, momentum. It creates that little bit of discomfort, enough that we are innovative, we're thinking creatively, and that's what leads to momentum versus the defeat formula.

Nicky:

When we're in that zone, actually there's no direction All those great descriptors that you had around what that looks like we fall into destructive chaos and that leads to that negative chaos because it's this real feeling of not having anything in control and no influence over our results, and that can therefore lead to the burnout. So really, when we look at this beautiful chaos takes that healthy stress to the limits of productivity and positive change, whereas when you're in prolonged destructive chaos, that leads to the damaging, the unhealthy stress that is actually really too often experienced these days. Even I was reading a stat from the book which is coming out soon more information on that to come a stat that we had in there from a Deloitte survey in 2020, 77% of people surveyed said that they had experienced burnout in their current role, and that was in 2020, 77%. Now the World Health Organization says that burnout stats are on the rise, and so if they're on the rise from 77%, that's pretty sad. That's pretty scary.

Ness:

Absolutely, and I think you know one of the things I remember when you were researching the book and you came across some work by Dr Menchola I think we've. Is that how you pronounce her name? I actually don't know.

Nicky:

I don't know, because I've only read her work, so I'm not sure.

Ness:

Apologies if it's incorrectly pronounced. Apologies if it's incorrectly pronounced. However, um, this doctor is a clinical neuropsychologist, so really studies and and understands people's brains and and you know how they work and what happens with their, I guess, when it comes to their bodies and reactions to this. So do you want to talk to us about what those findings were when it came to that sort of chronic stress?

Nicky:

So this also came about when we were researching the six signs for entrepreneurial addiction. So if you haven't listened to that episode, that's probably a good one. We might pop the link in the show notes. But also what I really resonated with on behalf of myself and all of our clients and our community. There was actually a quote that she said I might actually just read it to you because that's doing it best justice.

Nicky:

But she points out that people often believe that chronic so chronic stress being the long lasting stress, that chronic stress is normal, that going through sleep deprived, skipping meals, tossing and turning in the middle of the night and having stress-induced headaches for years is just the way things are. This is just what it's like to be an adult, a parent, a worker, a caregiver. This is just how life is. And when I've read that, that really struck me because it's true, we often go through life just going, actually, but it's just the way it is. Skipping meals, it's just the way it is.

Nicky:

We've talked a few times about the leaders we've worked with that haven't had time to go to the toilet. It's just the way. It is Not sleeping through the night. Look, it's actually. No, that is not the norm. How did we let this become the norm? This is why we're so passionate about this concept of healthy hustle because this isn't the norm. This isn't how our bodies are wired, but it is how we are now wired. Do the Smart Growth Survey in under 60 seconds to get your hands on our Smart Growth Blueprint. You'll get immediate access to our four favorite strategies for sales, profit planning and team, and you'll identify which phase of Smart Growth your business is currently in, whether it's crisis, build growth or momentum mode, so that you can move your way to the next phase with ease. All you have to do is click the link in the show notes. I think you were talking about some other stats, ness to back this up as well, which was really interesting.

Ness:

Yeah, well, I mean, it ties in so well with some of the people in our world that we've spoken to. In Season 1 on the podcast, dr Susan Hunter comes in. Sorry, doctor, I just made her a doctor.

Nicky:

Susan Hunter comes to mind. Congratulations, Susan.

Ness:

Susan Hunter comes to mind, christine Boucher comes to mind it's this whole impact of health right. Where we get to this chronic stress level is when people start to go and seek help because of all the things you described, where they realize actually this is stopping me from functioning in my world as a leader, as a business owner, as a parent, as a partner and just in general. This stat that I don't know where it came from, but majority of Australians feel the stress impacts of their physical health. So 72% feel this stress in physical health and 64% identify as feeling stress impacting their mental health. And very few of those percentages of people reported seeking professional help. And I think that what I remember both Christine and Susan talking about is the people that get to sort of like that end and start looking towards naturopathy or, you know, finding nurses or doctors to help them or health coaches to help them. What's happened is they have just, you know, taken so much out of their body because they've had the belief system that that's just normal. No one stopped to tell them it's actually not normal.

Ness:

There's something else going on, and I remember reading a quote by a functional health psychologist professional in America and he talked about when we get chronic illness which could be a result of chronic stress.

Ness:

It's like sitting in the, you're in a boat and you're in that churny water about to tip over the waterfall, and what he describes is this is the point where you've got to get out of the boat, find your way up the bank and walk back along the river to where you got in and figure out when you got into the river, what was it that caused you to arrive in this pool of turbulent water that's heading over a cliff. So that's the point where we say, well, okay, we've got to come all the way back here. We've got to stop it before it gets to chronic. We've got to stop this stress level. And I think this is why it's such an important discussion to be having, because a lot of people will resonate with the fact that they're just in this constant state of feeling tired, of skipping meals, of just having headaches and reaching for that glass of wine when they get in from work just to unwind and deal with the stresses of everything else in life.

Nicky:

So this also. I love that analogy because it's such a good visual representation of how we can feel, and I want to link it again to this concept of beautiful chaos, because what we talked about is clarity of direction. But it's not just clarity of direction of the business, it's clarity of direction of you personally. Remember, your life goals are just as important as your business goals, which is why we bake them into, we embed them in all of our business planning for our clients and ourselves. We have life goals as well as business goals.

Nicky:

So think about if you've got prioritized life goals is what we call them If you've got a life goal of feeling you know like it could be a specific, but for me personally, mine is at the end of the year. I want to be fit right now, but also I want to work towards feeling the fittest, strongest, healthiest version of me. Wow, that was a tongue twister for some reason, but right. So if I'm thinking that that's the goal, that I want clarity and direction on how to achieve that personally, that's going to stop me from getting in that white water rafters in the boat at the edge of the waterfall about to tip over, Because what clarity and direction do I need personally to be that fit, strong, healthy person as well, as we've got our business goals, and what do we need to do to move towards that?

Nicky:

So I feel like that's an important link to make here as well to all of our listeners and viewers is that when we talk clarity of direction, it's about that combination of personal and business, Because, again, I really trust and hope you're seeing this link. The clarity of direction allows you to embrace the chaos, which then allows you to embrace the positive stress, because a bit of stress is good, and I think we could probably talk through what are some of the differences so that our listeners and viewers can kind of go oh okay, that's healthy, that's not healthy, or that's positive, that's negative stress. But yeah, I just wanted to jump in and again create that link, because it can seem like such a simple thing that we don't have time to do. Oh, I've got to stop and think about my direction and why I'm doing this.

Ness:

I know and I think clearly here, each person's stress threshold is going to be different, and it reminds me of when you go to the gym.

Ness:

Say, you organize a personal trainer because you have that sort of health goal, your first few sessions are going to cause stress to your body. And as long as it's done in a way that's healthy, with the end objective in mind, I think that's really important and we can relate that back to what positive stress is. So it's natural, it's adaptive, it's that built-in response that prepares us to take action, both physically and mentally. And I think it's more that positive, healthy stress, like that belief system around okay, it's going to be hard, but we're going to get it done and we're going to go, but I'm not going to do it at the expense of my sleep, my diet, my relationships. It's like let's get focused, let's get in, let's get peak performance happening in those hours that we dedicate to work so that we can get the result that we want to. And it can be stressful, we go through that stressful phase, but it's still healthy, yeah.

Nicky:

That's just before we get to that. That's such a good point there around. You know, exercise is a great way to think about it. You know, when we're doing some new exercises at the gym or in dance, and then the body, certain muscles, start to hurt and you're like what? But that's a positive stress reaction because your body, you know that pressure and that discomfort, there's growth in that. So really cool analogy.

Nicky:

The negative of that, when we look at negative stress, it's the excessive. So think about the positive stress. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. Actually I was thinking as well, positive pressure. Jules said this to me the other day when I was like getting in my head about something. And she's like Nikki, why don't you just look at it like it's positive pressure? Yes, it's pressure, but it's positive because when you get through this you're going to achieve X, y, z. I'm like, oh, that's really cool. So it's the opposite of that. The pressure is excessive, the workload, maybe, is unrealistic, the deadlines are unrealistic and it's a stack on. There's no light at the end of the tunnel.

Nicky:

With positive pressure or positive stress, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. We can say, okay, it's for this period of time, but there's a light or there's an end goal I think you mentioned that. So it stacks, stack on over a period of time, so the stress levels are exacerbated, there's no break. There's just that it's not positive pressure, it's relentless pressure we could replace that word so it really starts to take its toll. And we have to also think about our different pressure points or stress points across all areas of work and life. Because you know, life there's a lot of pressures, business there's a lot of pressures, work, et cetera. So we've got to look at where's the little pressure valve that we can release in one area to offset the other.

Nicky:

But if there is no light at the end of the tunnel, if there's no pause, if there's no break, if there's no growth through it, then that's potentially a sign that you are playing in that negative stress space. Now, negative stress then leads to chronic stress, and chronic stress is all the places we do not want to go health issues etc. And you know, ness, as you said, there's a couple of great episodes in season one that people can go back and listen. But I wonder if we finish this, this chat, by sharing what are actually some signs of negative stress, because I think that there's a good distinction between the differences between the two. But these are a couple of things you could be feeling if you're really playing in that negative stress space. What comes to mind?

Ness:

for you Ness. Oh, what comes to mind? I guess it related to health, yeah, oh related to anything.

Nicky:

So for example one of the things that we know if you're stuck in negative stress, you might actually start making mistakes on simple things that you or the team would normally do with these, but the little things that actually are normally quite easy become really hard, really like a lot of effort or the attention to detail, like it's just challenging to do. If you're in that space, you could be playing in negative stress.

Ness:

I wondered also you know that catastrophizing that generalization, like everything's hard. All our clients are difficult, all my staff are crap. You know every day is harder and harder. You know, when we start to generalize and not see the issue to break down and find a solution to the problem, we kind of throw our hands up in the air and it just blanket.

Nicky:

Everything has this kind of take on it that I would imagine that's a good one, and the language even around that, everything or the, and then that also reminds me of uh, you know, we all have a natural place that we go to. When things are just a bit overwhelming or too much for some people, that might be pulling back, burying head in the sand and going to avoidance, like like really over avoiding over the top, avoiding conflict it's not even conflict. Or other people might have different stress responses, so maybe it's also knowing what our individual stress responses are and are they at play big time.

Ness:

Yeah, yeah for sure. And I guess the other thing that comes to mind is the self-care essentials. Am I getting good sleep quality? Do I have an appetite? Am I skipping meals? Am I overeating? What are my energy levels like? What are my relationships like with those people around me? I keep thinking of Liam Ether saying you know what's it like to be around me right now. So when we stop to really think around, are we picking up that extra bottle of wine? You know, too often during the week, and that's a habit we don't want because it's our coping mechanism. So the signs are there. We've just got to pay attention to them, I think.

Nicky:

Yeah, I think that that's really great and probably a good point for us, then, to share an actionable action. What shall we leave our listeners and viewers with today? What's one thing they can do.

Ness:

Well, I guess, if we come back to the formula, the success formula, the difference between positive stress and negative or destructive sorry, what's the word? I'm looking for Negative stress.

Ness:

Yes, you had it, the difference between those two is one has a clear direction and one doesn't. Yeah, so I guess the question to ask yourselves and answer within the next 24 hours, especially if you are feeling the pressure of that negative or chronic stress, is let me just reconnect to what my direction is. And if that is not clear, that is your starting point. Let's get clear on what on earth are we doing this for? And, like you said, nikki, earlier, which I think is so important and a key to answering this question, is what is the outcome that we're striving for in business and how is that impacting our life.

Ness:

I think that reflection will make a huge difference in the starting point of shifting that. And, of course, if you are relating to what we talk about when we talk about chronic stress, maybe it's time to go and see a doctor or book in and see a naturopath or whoever out there in the health community supports you.

Nicky:

Yeah, love it. Let's keep it simple. That's a great first step. Lots of really good insights shared and, hopefully, the conversation. You can now take that narrative, this conversation, to your team, to your colleagues, because, remember the stat that Ness shared earlier majority or very few people actually seek help. So how are you showing up for and with your team and how are you leading by example? Have a wonderful week. We can't wait to connect with you again next week.

Ness:

Bye for now. Thanks for listening to today's ep. If you loved what you heard, connect with us over on LinkedIn and let's continue the conversation over there. Connect with us over on LinkedIn and let's continue the conversation over there. Nikki and I are obsessed with helping businesses install smart business growth strategies and leveraging people leadership for peak performance. We bring two business minds and two perspectives into your business, and our number one goal is to make sure that your business is thriving, your team are thriving and you are thriving. We offer a 30-day business diagnostic, taking you from chaos to clarity in just 30 days. Are you curious to find out more? Send us an email or go old school and give us a call. Until next time, happy listening and here's to thriving in business and in life.